Can I shed my disguise with you until sunrise?
Taking account of each other’s scars while you’re in my arms
Exploring all that is under the rug knowing I won’t be judged
To unleash our passionate depths leaving each other with nothing left
Being relaxed yet ready for round 3
Unwilling to break our physical streak
As the sunlight begins to spill inside
Can you help me to find my disguise
Going about my day with different parts of me sore
With plans of coming back to shed it once more
These events don’t define me but I have allowed them to
It’s as if I’m telling myself,
“These events are a broth that I must soak, marinate, and become stew in”
But that is by choice!
Events have and will occur, it does not mean I then carry them around like an albatross
I’m not cooking for myself because the stove burned me that one time years ago
People will do things to me and events will happen as well
Things will happen, I should not then walk towards sabotage
These events may mold me but shall never define me
As I loosen my grip and you to begin drift further away into the “only you know”
I can admit you aren’t the celestial body I fought for all those yesterdays ago
With my nose pressed up against the bark, I believed to be facing a tree
When I finally stepped away, I could see the embers from the forest fire and just me
Somehow distance brings clarity, the distance no longer disrupts my waters creating tides
I am able to use my telescope to better see you from all sides
I would stay busy, moving non-stop
With stillness I am able to see the long trail of blood drops
Those in the stands were telling me how the game is going
I was stubborn because I thought I was scoring
Thankfully the pattern has revealed itself
Calm arrives when your chaos is placed on a high enough shelf
I’ll stay up here with the satellites, I am enjoying the view
The last thing I need is to continue being in the eye of the storm faking it with you
Don’t I know how to communicate?
How come they don’t respond with reason and decency?
This is something you cannot figure out
It’s like talking to a brick wall because they have not yet broken it down themselves
Until then you must let go of this challenge you have accepted
You will drive yourself crazy attempting to understand crazy
You can’t connect just because you mean well
It is like making a wish towards a bottomless well
Pack up your intellect and find a different castle
Because the hassle will never cease and you will lose yourself in the process… again
Last I checked, we are related by blood
But I must let you know I’m on the way prior to arrival
I must show respect!
Anything less? Impossible!
After reading the fine print, I am completely welcome,
But there are rules for a reason
What about during an emergency?
Appearing unannounced will certainly impede your plans, your peace, and your space
I’m headed there now, but I can’t remember
Did I let you know I was coming? Will I be allowed inside?
God forbid the roles are reversed,
Where time and future plans are imaginary
“Be there by 1” really means “Be there at some point…maybe”
Must be difficult to stick to an arrival time with such a busy schedule
I’m headed there now, but there’s a tunnel approaching
I’m not sure how long it is, but I will lose connection
For how long? 5 minutes? 5 months? 5 years?
Losing connection may be what’s apart of my plan
See you soon
You’re asking why the guarded heart?
You’ve been this way from the start
Once a door cracks opens
You slam it shut and tell me to stop hoping
You ask why I am guarded
Well there are lessons I’ve learned,
let’s get started
The first love as a teen
Pure, uncut and clean
She randomly tells me she’s done
Sorry, you’ll be okay, thanks, this was fun
I move on, locking in with a beautiful Puerto Rican
But I’m naive, she’s not just for me but for all of them
Finding someone else, they feign safety
It was temporary and unreal, because they were chasing money
You may say that I’m carrying hurt and pain
I say that touching a hot stove will burn your hand time and time again
With lessons learned from decades of strife
Can you blame me for protecting this slice of me with my life?
The new business partner had an offer
To take on this developing project, still in its infancy
They knew of my previous experience with such projects
Our methods may be different, but I have proven my experience…I agree to it
A couple of years in, there is plenty of friction
They won’t listen and I’m accused of being a fraud
Months continue and we are questioning our gains
I am wondering if this project is worth investing in
Another couple of years, the feelings about it are conflicting
They see success and believe my expectations are too high
The potential is there, but see consistent frustrations
They tell me our partnership is done, but they want me to continue building the project
But the project was their idea and has only brought me frustration
They insist but I’m beginning to consider resisting
It will be difficult to walk away from something I have invested so much into
The cons are outweighing the pros, I am sorry, but I have to let you go
The rain beats the windshield as they drive away from doing the most and saying the least
Nothing came of it and nothing rose, someone forgot to add the yeast
Their fist slams the steering wheel again
As the headlights from passing cars cause their tears to glisson
The radio is low but fits the mood
Doing their best to forget what was good
They approach their destination, one that wasn’t in mind
The tires slosh to a stop as the seat reclines
The sky flickers and thunder matches their soul
Deep echoes far away,black as coal
As they calm, the music rises and eyelids gain weight
The rest stop pauses them from their fate
How have you had so many partners but know nothing of partnership?
Is it easier to share bodies rather than what makes them tick?
It must be the vulnerability you are afraid of
To expose those parts of you is deeper than using the word “love”
You have partnered with a deadly sin for so long
That you believe these thoughts you have therein belong
Wondering why happiness is just out of reach
Continuously giving your body away, losing parts of your soul with every inch
Why must you deceive those around you?
When the only person you’re lying to is you
The demons you carry could care less about your well-being
Until you face them, you will continue crying on the inside while fake smiling
By Ryan Miller
You’re looking for something that you won’t, nor do you want to find.
It’s your personal witch-hunt that you’ve haplessly and recklessly designed.
Why would one subject themself to such torture? It’s the current moment and vibes that’s experiencing your forfeiture.
Of course, things are not always what they present to be at face value.
One should and will inspect what they expect and I understand that from you.
But when and where does the overstepping of your investigation subside and go to die?
If not for the sake of your own sanity, I’d hope you’d consider it for mine.
What is it you fear so deeply that it calls you to dig so blind? Sifting through ashes of fiction, scorning the peace you might find. Every question and concern you throw like a dagger returns to your hand. Yet you sharpen it still, like the truth alone can’t stand.
We’ve all been haunted by shadows we swore were someone else’s sins, But when the smoke clears, it’s typically our own fire that burns from within. So tread lightly through the wreckage you’ve built in suspicion’s name. Not all witch hunting leads to found guilt and the riddles are part of a not so fun game.
I won’t beg you to trust what you’re unwilling to see. But understand that at times your search has also imprisoned me. If peace is what you seek, let the ghosts finally rest. Sometimes the hardest magic is learning to guess less.